


Am I Expendable?

by GabrielBubbles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambriel - Freeform, Angels are Dicks, Bottom Cas, M/M, Sad Cas, Top Dean, angels have head space, cas goes into it, it like when they feel super safe, possessive but love sex, sometimes after Amara got out and Cas was with his sister, with a mate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielBubbles/pseuds/GabrielBubbles
Summary: Ambriel’s words play over and over again in Castiel’s brain. Maybe they where true? Sam and Dean would be ok without him.... right?Dean has noticed his best friend (and crush let’s be honest here) has been upset lately about something. It upsets him slightly that Cas hasn’t come to him yet. Time to take matters into him own hands. As soon as Sam leaves the bunker.
Relationships: Destiel
Kudos: 28





	Am I Expendable?

**Author's Note:**

> It’s my first time writing smut..... forgive me

“ _I mean, we have a lot in common. Our names rhyme, and that’s a big one. I look good in a trench coat, too. And... we’re both expendable.”_

It hurt. Ambriel was still his sister, whether anyone liked it or not. They where still blood. Ya sure, “family don’t end in blood” and all but still. Castiel sat in the room he claimed. Not given. That realization hurt as well. The boys never _gave_ him the room. Maybe... maybe it was true.

Maybe they really only keep him here for healing and the power he has. That’s running low. Maybe they will through him out. Dean did when he was human, with nothing to offer. Castiel felt his eyes burn.

He took a deep breathe and laid on his, well Jimmy’s, stomach. Just as he was going to let it out in his pillow, one of the boys knocked on his door. “Hey Cas! It’s Dean! Can I come in for a sec? I wanna talk.”

Castiel took a breath and composed himself. “Yes Dean, you may.”

Dean smiled broadly. Then it faded. Castiel was still on his stomach, face stuffed in a pillow. “Cas?” Castiel didn’t move. “Cas? You ok buddy?” Dean gave Castiel the ‘Sammy voice’. It was low and soft, like a mother talking to her child.

Castiel sniffled loudly and hid a sob. “Go ‘way!” Dean blinked in surprise. Castiel sounded like a teenager who was going through their first heartbreak and wanting their parents to leave the room.

”Oh Cas... what happened?” Dean sat down gently next to his head and rubbed his shoulder. Castiel has never cried before. Ya he may have seen tears in his eyes, but never a full on cry. “Come on dude, talk to me.”

Castiel shook his head, and as if he could become the bed, cuddled in his pillow more. Dean frowned and started to rub his back. He did this for a good hour before Castiel quietly mumbled something.

”What was that honeybee?” Dean has always called Cas affection nicknames when it was just the two of them.

”Would you replace me if I died?”

Dean felt his heart break. “ _What_? Of course not! Why the _fuck_ did you get that idea!?”

Castiel sobbed again, but louder. “When I went to see what happened with Amara the other day, on of my sisters where there as well. We ran into each other and she-“ Castiel cried slightly. “She said that the both of us where expandable and I started to think about it and it’s true.”

Dean felt a type of rage that he has never felt before. Those dicks with wings said _what_ to _his_ angel. Did they forgot who he fucking was? And it was even worse that his angel thought it was true. “Cas, I want you to listen to me very carefully.”

Castiel sniffled. “Why? So I can hear you tell me it took me long enough to realize?”

Dean growled lowly. “Castiel.” Castiel looked up at that. Dean has only ever call him by his full name at least four times, and that was during the apocalypse and seals.

“ _Cas_ , you are _not_ ‘expandable’ or replaceable. You saved me and Sam how many times now? You pulled me out of hell. You got Sam, well Sam’s body but you tried, out of the _cage with Lucifer_. You then protected me from Dick when you where crazy. You pulled me behind you and you where crazy. You didn’t even want to be there. Then, when Naomi.” Dean took a breath with that. That bitch hurt his baby. “When she had you under mind control, you pulled yourself out. Do I have to go on?”

Castiel sobbed and clutched his pillow and didn’t look at Dean. “But you don’t _need_ me!”

Dean used some of his strength to flipped the wheeping angel around to his back. “Angel, no. I need you. _I need you_. Whether you know it or not. Sam maybe able to move on if you died, not fully but he would, but I wouldn’t. I might even kill myself just so I won’t have to deal.”

Castiel sniffled and glared at Dean. “Don’t do that. I’ll come back and go to Heaven to beat you up.”

Dean smiled sadly. “But I would. Because I can’t live without you. All the time you where in purgatory, crazy, working with Crowley even, having the Mark of Cain, when the angels fell, all I could think about was, I should have told you.”

”Told me what?”

”That I love you.”

Castiel looked at Dean. Looked at his soul. Dean’s eyes where holding complete honesty. “But.... Why? I’ve hurt you?”

Dean shook his head. “Only time you have ever hurt me was when you and Crowley did you thing. If anything, I’ve hurt you. You have _never_ done anything wrong. Everything you have ever done, you did with a good reason.”

Castiel shook his head not believing him. It was too good to be true. Dean Winchester was straight. “But... I’m in a male vessel.”

”So? I’m bi Cas. I don’t say it or act on it much, but I am. I don’t care what body you are possessing, I love _you_. For Christ sake, I want you. In anyway I can have you.” Dean whispered like it was a big secret. He was playing with Castiel’s hair and smiling at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. “I understand if you don’t feel that same, but now you know. It’s ok if you don’t.”

Castiel shook his head. “I love you too. I do. Ever sense I touched your soul in hell. I didn’t know it was love until I was human though. Just... why me? Why do you love me?”

Dean brought his head down so the two where touching foreheads. “I don’t know. I just do. More then anything. More then Baby. More then pie.” Castiel giggled slightly. Dean smiled brightly at the noise.

Dean rubbed their noses together. “Can I kiss you?”

Castiel’s breath caught. “I-I don’t have much experience-“

”That’s ok.”

”Yes.”

Dean closed the small gap. Years of built up emotions flowed into the kiss. Dean was rubbing Castiel’s hips gently and pulled away after a few long minutes. Humans had to breathe sadly. “Fuck you taste good.”

Castiel whines at the loss of Dean’s mouth. His face was flushed red and his hair was a bit messy. Dean had may thoughts. “D-Dean.”

”Yes angel?”

”Can... Can you... intercourse?”

Dean laughed and kissed Castiel’s cheek. “Fuck I love you. Yes. You’re so fucking cute. But we have to go to my room. It has lube and I don’t want to hurt you.” Castiel squeals as Dean picked him up. He wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and let the man carry him to his room.

Dean was moaning slightly as he finally made it to his room. Castiel has been sucking slowly at his neck and rutting on his low stomach, trying to find friction. Dean placed him on his bed, Castiel’s legs opened and inviting.

”Jesus you’re hot like this. Gotta get out of these clothes first baby.” Dean undid Castiel’s tie and threw it somewhere in the room. Then the rest on their clothes joined the pile.

” _Dean_ so help me if you don’t _touch me right now_ -“ Castiel whine/beg was cut off by Dean slipping in between his legs. They both moaned at the feeling of bare skin touching bare skin.

Dean kissed him again, much more desperate then the last. Trailing down with his mouth, Dean left hickeys that will definitely show tomorrow down his body. Castiel was shivering and squirming around.

When Dean finally got to his groined, Dean threw his legs over his shoulders and kissed the inside of his thighs and made dark marks. “Mine. So pretty.”

Castiel didn’t know what made him hornier. The fact Dean say he was pretty and his, or the fact Dean just swallowed him down his throat. “ _DeanDeanDean_.” As a response, Dean just held his hips down and continued.

After a few minutes, Castiel was sobbing. “Dean- need to- Dean-“ Dean hummed around him, making Castiel cum. Castiel took large breaths as Dean pulled off him. “S-sorry.”

Dean just smiled and rubbed where he was holding Castiel down. “S’ok sweatheart. Wanna made you feel good.” Dean voice was a little gruff from taking Castiel down his throat, but it just made Castiel squirm.

”Dean... Can you..”

”Can I what baby? Go on. Say it.”

Castiel blushed deeply. “Fuck me?” Dean just smiled back like he won the lottery. Castiel smiled back shyly.

Dean licked a long strip up Cas’s neck. “Of course. Sense you asked so nicely.” Castiel blushed and Dean reached over to the side table and pulled out a bottle of lube. He put a generous amount on his fingers. “Ok, it may feel weird at first but I promise it will feel good.” Dean mumbled into his neck and nibbled there.

Castiel made a noise that was surprised but also like he liked what was happening when Dean slipped in he pointer. It went like that until Dean had three fingers in him, they where longer and thinker then you think, before Cas was moaning loudly Dean was worried Sam might hear if he was home.

“Dean- please-“

“Ya ya. Lemme just-“ Dean put some lube in his dick and slowly put his tip in Cas. “Might hurt at first.” Dean grunted. Castiel only moaned and tightened his leg around Dean.

“Safe.”

Dean stuttered. “Huh?”

Castiel’s eyes were a bit foggy. “Safe.” He said while wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean just shrugged it off to ask about it later. Before they knew it, they where hip to hip.

Dean waited until Castiel shifted to move. When he did, it was slow loving thrusts. Castiel whines and bit Dean’s neck. “Right here love. Never going anywhere.” Dean kissed Castiel gently. His thrust picked up and Castiel clutched around him.

Dean understood the silent words. Castiel wasn’t going to last long. If he was going to be honest with himself, nether was he. Dean reached between them and rubbed Cas’s hard on. Cas threw his head back and moaned. Dean lost all control over everything.

“Castiel, you are beautiful like this. All flushed red and moaning. I bet not even April made you feel like this.” Dean hated April. Not only did she literally kill Castiel, but she also took advantage of him. Castiel says it was consensual, but it wasn’t what sex what supposed to be like.

Castiel sobbed and scratched Dean’s back, leaving red marks. “Come on sweetheart. You can cum.” Castiel only held into Dean tighter. Dean thrusted deeper and faster and Castiel felt his eye roll back.

Castiel came with a loud cry and Dean wasn’t far behind. The two breathe heavily. Dean was still in Cas but Cas didn’t mind. Dean nuzzles Castiel’s sex hair and kissed his forehead. He slowly slipped out and rolled on his back, pulling Cas on his chest.

“Dean.”

“Cas.”

Castiel smiled at him and put his head under Dean’s chin. Dean lazily rubbed his back with on hand and the other rubbing Cas’s swore bum. Cas closed his eyes for meditation and Dean fell alseep with a snore.  
__

The next more, the two laid in comfortable silence. Castiel finally got up and pulled Dean’s hand. Dean followed Cas to wherever he was taking him. It ended up being a shower. Not sexual, just showering together then they got dressed in the Dead Guy Robes. Dean only have his boxers and the robe while Cas has a pair of Dean’s boxers and shirt. Dean had to think disgusting thoughts to so his dick would go soft again.

“Dean, what are we?”

Dean spit his water out. He was expecting that but not at that moment. “Uhh... whatever you want man.” Dean flushed red and turned around so he didn’t have to see his face. Castiel giggled and shook his head. Dean smiled and kissed him. “What do you want for breakfast.” Ah yes, Dean changing the subject with food.

Castiel rolled his eyes with a smile. “I don’t know. Don’t care. Whatever you make is good.” Dean ended up making his favorite eggs and pancakes. They skipped dinner last night and Dean was hungry. They ate across from each other and whenever they caught each other staring, they blushed and looked back down.

After breakfast, they moved to the Dean Cave. While Dean forced Cas to pick something to watch, he asked him a question. “Hey Cas?”

“Yes Dean.”

“Why did you tell me ‘safe’ last night?”

Castiel blushed. “Well... Angels have this... headspace I guess you could say. We only slip into it when we feel the safest and with our mate.”

Dean looked at him. “So... I’m like married to you in angel terms?” Castiel shrugged and nodded. “Huh. The weirdly doesn’t freak me out.” Castiel looked over and shyly sat on his lap. “Hmm guess you found your seat.” Castiel punched his lightly.

Castiel ended up choosing his document about ocean animals. (‘It’s educational Dean.’ ‘You’re an angel! You should know this!’ ‘Shut up and look at the whales.’ ‘Yes, Dear.’ ‘Don’t call me Dear’ ‘Yes Dear, sorry Dear.’)

“Dean? Cas?” Sam was standing in the door way with his jaw dropped. Dean opened his mouth but Sam beat him to it. “What the fuck did I miss!? I mean, fucking FINALLY, but, what did I miss? Cas... IS THAT A HICKEY!? DO YOU GUYS FUCK!?” Sam squealed like a teenage girl.

Dean growled at him and flipped him off. “Shut up bitch!”

“Whatever jerk.” And Sam sat in his chair, watching the documentary.

Cas on Dean’s lap, Sam in his chair. Dean drank some of his beer. Life was good. For now. The darkness was still out there. But for now, it was good.

**Author's Note:**

> LSJDIDJSID OH GOD WHAT DID I JUST WRITE-


End file.
